Horror / spoof
Bordello of Blood
Dir: Gilbert Adler
Star: Erika Eleniak, Dennis Miller, Angie Everhart, Chris Sarandon, Corey Feldman
Cert / Year: 18 - R / 1996
Format: VIDEO

Katherine (Erika Elniak) is an uptight, religious zealot and assistant to prominent evangelist Reverand "J.C" Current (Chris Sarandon). She is forced to hire sleazy, wise cracking local detective Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) when her misfit brother (Corey Feldman) disappears after they have a fight. Rafe’s investigation leads him (via a suspicious looking biker with a hankering for bloody meat and sun block) to a "secret" brothel, based underneath the local mortuary, which is populated by luscious, large chested women. As you may have guessed, there is of course a snag to a brothel full of such desirable women...... they are all vampires. The madam or mistress of the house is the alluring Lilith (Angie Everhart)..... the mother of all vampires.

If you liked the first Tales From The Crypt movie, the very cool Demon Knight or enjoy the series, then this second big screen offering is likely to appeal, but may well dissappoint some viewers. As you would expect, the film is brimming with the typical brand of inept and purile dark humour but it even manages to throw in some good old fashioned smut this time. Which for anyone brought up with the Carry On movies is a welcome inclusion to any comedy - dark, spoof or similar screen outing. Added to this is a bigger budget, which means we get better effects and a certain "polish" to the film, which in Tales from the Crypt's case is welcome.

The direction by Gilbert Adler starts off alright, in a formulaic and pre ordained fashion, framing some good effects which set up the story well enough. Then he drops the pacing a little and it takes most of the film to regain momentum after the dip. There are some nice visuals but not much atmosphere. Adler's experience is primarily as a producer and this could have really done with a more experienced director to bring this to the screen, but as the film stands it manages to elevate itself above your usual tv to film fare. The finale is quite well put together and works very well but the finale of From Dusk till Dawn does it slightly better and much gorier. Overall, the film has plenty of quirky little moments throughout and can be quite farcical at times, but it all works quite well to deliver an entertaining horror spoof set around a vampire brothel inside a funeral home. There is plenty to keep you watching (to say the least) and some very groan worthy moments as the humour sinks very low at times for a chuckle. Some of the "gags" are a little stale but well placed even if it does touch on cliche more than once or twice. In typical Tales from the Crypt fashion, the Crypt Keeper hosts a prologue and epilogue accompanying piece, affording himself a chance to deliver some cheesy dialogue and cackle inanely whilst engaging in a dark little skit with the very cool cult star William Sadler. I have to admit that no matter what I see him in, I still see Sadler playing the Reaper from Bill & Ted's Bogus journey.

More astute viewers will recognise a degree of irony as some blatant role reversal is going on in this film as former vampire Chris Sarandon (Fright Night) now plays an evangelist, former vampire slayer and frog brother Corey Feldman (The Lost Boys) now portrays a vampire. Former Baywatch babe and "Play-Mate" Erika Elniak manages to keep her clothes ON!!!, yes big shock there chaps, and she remains clothed throughout as she portrays a devout religious zealot. Still pretty sexy, but also remaining clothed, Angie Everhart does a fine job, vamping it up aplenty as mother of all vampires, Lilith and probably managing to be every hot blooded male's fantasy. The excellent Aubrey Morris ( Firefox) is surreal and superb as perverse mortician McCutcheon. Comedian, Dennis Miller plays the dead pan detective Rafe Guttmann and manages to steal most of the best lines and have some of the more memorable scenes.

Considering the heritage, Bordello of Blood has got some pretty good effects and is well directed for the most part. There are some poorly arranged or sloppy set pieces and you get the impression that the film makers hoped that the abundance of semi and fully naked women would distract the viewer sufficiently, which only works to a point. Admittedly this is very predictable and the ending is very similar to Lair of the White Worm. The film is also purile but mainly it is just plain dumb, dumb with a capital "D", but you just got to love it for that fact. It doesn't try to be anything else and that is one of its strengths, it is packed with Tales from the Crypt "in-jokes" and at times is so typically Tales from the Crypt that all you can do is chuckle (sometimes nervously) most of the way through the film. Great life breathed into "Ballroom Blitz" by The Sweet, thanks to an over the top and highly entertaining showdown in the Bordello.

Tongue so firmly in cheek that it is surprising that there is sufficient room for the prosthetic fangs. Ridiculously silly, delightfully dumb, camp and with an abundance of bare flesh and exploding bodies. Some seriously cheesy and dumb dialogue backed up by some equally corny and dumb humour. This is so low brow that a neanderthal could follow it which means that it is bound to have a wide appeal.

If you liked Demon Knight then you will probably like this, but bear in mind that this is a more light hearted affair. Harmless, no brain fun, loads of dark humour, some blatant lampooning here and there, sexy vampires not to mention plenty of boobs and bare flesh to see (That has probably sold the film to half of the readers already). If you are in the mood for some no brain humour, a good laugh, a harem of semi naked women, not to mention Corey Feldman hamming it up big time, then this is the film for you.


"I feel like I'm in a bad episode of Tales From The Crypt!"

Rating: 2 out of 5

Reviewed by Logan Back Top Home